Best Story Ever by Diana Bowers  
Once upon a time there was a leech who supped upon vast mouthfuls of freckle creations. There are camels upon the great plains of taffeta. This is the time for a serious story.

There was a girl and another girl and they loved each other very much. They had matching rhinestone-studded joke books and silver remotes of doom.

Wait! Pause.
Once there were two unicorns who made love upon a field of poppycocks. Cheese dust fell upon them in waves. They couldn’t be together because their families had warring dock properties.
A frog had some interesting financial propositions to do with coffee bean prospects. Mounds of detritus rained from the heavens as mammoths galloped ‘cross emerald-studded caterpillar filaments.

Joy and insipid hair exodus gelled into pudding-mass with a nose like that of Helen Keller’s dog.

Fingerprints studded the helm of the silver child-like prow of the vessel on which Jews of every description could be viewed dancing among the Band-aid fibers like the hand-lines of a beautiful head shake.

David Chadsey wore a gown of silver taffeta that flowed like toilet paper as he stepped regally amidst the flames, the rabid rhinos, elephants and hippos chanting “Fi-re, Fi-re” as they tossed their righteous horn heads in indignation.

Meanwhile Master Señor Kandel, lord of all that is holy, strolled among the duct tape billowing from flower patch to flower patch amid the joyous peals of maggot-laughter that rang out from pink marshmallow puff archways as in olden times.

Rachel had a well-oiled mustache much like that of Salvador Dalí and she coiled it maliciously as she grasped Annie by her curly Colombian hairs.
HOW MUCH FOR THE LITTLE GIRL?
So saying she turned the many strands of her many-stranded mustachio in such a way as to ensnare Annie against the train tracks of Western China.

Some kind of gelatinous carousel-horse skipped along under sun lamps of the orange coin variety.

“You’re like your own father!” she proclaimed loudly as she contemptuously tossed gold coins (for they lived in a nation with no paper bills).

In the Pleistocene era Annelid segmented worms wandered the Earth with no regard for human laws or textures.

When the Brooklyn Bridge was built elfin peoples rejoiced and performed a nose-dance to please the ages. Climbing upon the empty rinds of a burgeoning adolescent consumer society the whiffs of despairing nature moaned at their own inability to alter the irreparable future.
Story · Added: Apr 25, 2009 · Views: 2215 · People Inspired: 0
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